The last two weeks (2 months?) have been filled to the brim with stress. So much so that I let everything slip: the writing, the blogging, the reading. I haven’t gone for a run in over a week (though you have to admit, moving boxes and boxes of books is a good substitute). Today is the first of the month and it also feels like the first day I’ve been able to wake up with peace in my head.
I’ve moved out of the apartment I lived in for two years and put my things in storage. Despite my efforts to pare down The Stuff I am still swimming in it. Ridding the self of things takes some time. My struggles to let go of belongings overwhelm me sometimes and then I think of those who have lost everything in the south due to the tornadoes: my struggles, they are small, so very.
I am tending the garden of dear friends in exchange for a place to sleep. Dear Trudes is visiting Uncle Nando for the month on the other side of town. She has taken to sitting in her hunker-down pose under his bed. All of this moving and change must be stressful on her, but she is resilient. My girl.
In a phone conversation I had a few days ago, F. mentioned we are all taking care of each other. I felt the full weight of this statement last night, sitting in the garden with a book, using the last of the daylight while I could. I had been distracted by the sky, that Arizona sunset pink-sherbet blush at 7:30 pm. It was quiet and I began to cry. We are all taking care of each other, in our own ways. We are taking care.
& the book—Sharon Olds’ Satan Says, her first book—goodness. I have so much more reading to do. So many opportunities to be stunned in the pink light.
There is so much to tell you. I am teaching an online poetry class this month, too. My mind is already filled with ideas, ways to use the technology to our advantage. Online is not ideal; it will never take the place of face-to-face workshop. But we will make it work.
I have an interview for adjunct teaching work tomorrow. I’m glad I set aside a pair of heels when I packed. It will be fun to hit the road, drive to a different town, and talk about something I love doing.
Look at these garden vegetables. This morning’s bounty: 4 crookneck squash, 3 eggplant, 13 string beans. I get to eat them. Already I am thinking this is what I want in my life. I want to teach creative writing and I want to come home to a garden.